How to make new friends?
Hello gentleman! How many friends have you got? And I don’t mean acquaintances, i mean friends. Probably 5 to 10? Honestly, i got more than 500 acquaintances but just 4 friends. Friends are people on which you can count on, on which you can trust, at the current moment.
Actually i was at my exam centre to write my exam. When i was reporting in, i bumped into some random guy. I didn’t remember him, he said,”hey Aditya! How you doing? Well prepared?” I didn’t even remember his name, i pretended i know him, had a small talk and went in to write the exam and didn’t see him again. Surely he was not a friend, just an acquaintance whom i met sometime and i don’t remember now.
That’s just about me but what about you people? Who were your friends when you were a child? You must be thinking what kind of question is that, obviously the other kids in school or in neighbourhood. Yeah, right! Now see, after you get out of school those friends are not gonna be around. You can either stick to them or you can make new friends who are there right now.
The thing is we are social creatures and we need friends. and everyone is not gonna be around for always. Very soon they will become just a contact saved on your phone. That’s why, you need to know how to make new friends everywhere and anywhere.
So here are my 8 tips to make new friends.
1. Get social
Being social doesn’t mean you should download all social networking apps on your phone and start finding friends there. It is easy to find friends on social network but having thousands of friends which you cannot see or you just chat to them when you feel like. It can be a great stress buster but it is not a way to make new friends. But if it works for you, then go for it.
By getting social i mean go out. Go to the nearest coffee shop to have a coffee or go to some event or hang out in nearest bar or go to a park just for a walk. Go anywhere, you are gonna find people everywhere. But first thing you need to do is get out of your comfort zone. Go out, meet people, push yourself to your surroundings, atleast know the name of your neighbour even he may be your friend.2. Talk
“Hi, my name is Aditya, i am a student. I like to play cricket and PUBG. And my favourite color is red. Let’s be friends.”
Pretty easy to make new friends, right? No it is not. But we made friends and school pretty much by saying these. Yeah, but that was school and we were kids. Truth is you cannot start a conversation or make a new friend by saying this. The thing is you need to work on some conversation starters, the skill of small talks etc. etc. The art of talking is not something that can be taught. Its a skill which you need to practice to get a mastery in that.
You need to read something about small talks? click here.
3. Be confident
When you go out, you engage in conversation, you need to be self confident. Being confident also means being yourself. Show what you really are, if you are afraid to show something which is inside you (and i certainly don’t mean physically), then get rid of that thing. Be confident that you are awesome. Instead you are filled with awesomeness and amazingness, let the world see that.
If you are not confident, and trust me that would happen at the beginning, just try to assume that the person you are engaging in conversation with, already likes you. It won’t just fill you with 100 % confidence but it will make it easy to pretend that you are confident. And everyone likes a confident person. No one wants to be friends with some low confidence dull guy.
4. Sense of humour
A great sense of humour is something which makes a person extra attractive, and it attracts more friends. I also know that not everyone is born with a legendary sense of humour but it can be improved. Humour is also a part of building conversation. Here is a thing about conversation, its like a workout, the more you practice the more you will get good at it. Going out, meeting people, engaging in conversation, being confident all this requires practice. The more you practice these exercises, the more you will get better at it.
5. Don’t go personal
There are times when you are building a conversation and it goes deeper and deeper. Sometimes when it goes too deep it starts digging up personal stuff. Every 8 out of 10 people don’t like someone who they just met to dig into their personal life. And it gives rise to awkward silences and bad first impressions.
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| You go too much personal, you will get this look. |
So, what you need to do is limit your questions to some extents, so you don’t start smashing someone’s personal life. Studies have shown that when you ask a person questions about them, it makes them feel good. They like you and take interest in talking to you because you are showing interest in knowing them. But the most important thing is you should know where to stop.
6. Remember their names
Now its the most crucial part (atleast for me). Look i have a very bad habit of forgetting names easily, and it happens with me a lot of times that i have forgotten names of people with whom i have been talking for weeks. Even sometimes i forget to ask their name when i first meet them.
So in order to ensure that you don’t forget to ask their names, start the conversation by asking names. during the whole conversation if you know that you can forget their name, just address them with their names at least two times with their names, so that you can remember that.
Even if the conversation has ended and you realise that you have forgotten their name, there are some tricks you can use. If it comes to exchange numbers, give them your phone and tell them to fill their contact details, they won’t notice and you will know their name(i do it all the time, its my favourite). In other cases, like if that person carries a visiting card you can ask for that. If nothing works then last thing you can do is politely ask their name again. There is nothing wrong in it, but still, use it as a last resort.7. Ask them to meet again
Now you went out, you met some people, you had a great nice time, a great conversation, now what?
Now if you want to see them again, if you want o meet them again. Then don’t hesitate to ask them. Again, just assume that they liked you as well, they also enjoyed the conversation and they also wanna see you again. Just ask them, make some plan to meet them, some other time, some other place or the same place as you wish.
Exchange numbers, ask for social networks. Meet on the coffee or meet them at the same park you met them or ask them to have lunch with you. ask anything, just don’t hesitate in doing so.
8. Keep your friends
Last but not the least, keep your friends. if you have made a friend you need to keep them. You can expect them to become a good friend, but first you need to become a good friend. Being a good friend you need to be loyal to them, you need to listen to them as well as you want them to listen to you. You have to be trustworthy to them. You need to become someone they can rely on.
Its same with everyone, as you need more friends or you need to make new friends. Other people also need the same thing, its human behaviour, no one likes to be alone. Everyone needs a loyal, trustworthy, reliable friend who listen to them. The same things you are expecting from someone else and others are expecting from you. And its true, you get what you give.
Look here is something what i think, I think that even if you have got friends you cannot just be with them for always. I mean just think about it always going to the same old places, meeting the same people, listening to the same thoughts everything just remains the same. Honestly, i get bored of same things very easily. Making new friends don’t let you get bored.
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